New Neighbors

by Michael Hofferber. Copyright © 1994. All rights reserved.

Moving to the country? You're going to love it... maybe.

If you are anything like the thousands of folks fleeing the "rat race" of city life each year by taking up residence in some small town or rural county, then you probably have some romantic notions of country life.

You expect to find less crime, less traffic and more friendly faces. That's possible. But don't come out here looking for Green Acres or Northern Exposure. There are no Martha Stewarts on these farms. You won't find espresso bars or vegetarian bistros in most small towns.

All across the country, in rural places from Maine to Mendocino, there are terrible conflicts raging between folks who have lived in these places all their lives and newcomers who want to change them to better meet their expectations.

Continued at... New Neighbors

Michael Hofferber
Rural Delivery
Artwork: New Neighbors Moving In

Uninvited Guests

by Michael Hofferber. Copyright © 1997. All rights reserved.

On certain summer evenings out on the prairie you might hear what sounds like the howling of a miniature wolf. High-pitched and hysterical, a cry of "sk-sk-skreeee" slices through the wild grasses.

Measuring just four inches and weighing a single ounce, the furry source of this howling is the audacious little grasshopper mouse. Fiercely territorial and uncommonly bold, the males leave their burrows shortly after dusk, howl at the heavens to advertise their claims, and then swagger off in search of fresh meat.

While most mice dine happily on seeds, nuts and table scr

aps, the grasshopper mouse prefers to kill its dinner. Grasshoppers, appropriately, are a favorite prey. But this killer mouse also stalks mice, voles and kangaroo rats. Attacking from behind, it grabs its victim with its front legs and drives its incisor teeth into the brainstem. No playing around.

Those brown-furred critters scurrying through the grain fields, damaging crops and leaving tiny runways of felled grasses are more likely voles. Also known as meadow mice, voles have tiny ears, small eyes and bluntly rounded muzzles. And they are incredibly prolific.

Continued at... Uninvited Guests

Michael Hofferber
Rural Delivery
The Nature Pages
Book: Grasshopper Mouse

The Dog Days of Summer

by Michael Hofferber. Copyright © 1997. All rights reserved.

These are the dog days of summer, a time of year when creeks run dry, the air stands still and the sun beats down relentlessly, day after day, or so it seems.

These are the days when we rediscover shade, pools, and the contents of our freezers. Cooling off becomes an obsession.

Over-heated hounds do lounge beneath porches and trees on hot afternoons, but it is not for them that "dog days" were named. Instead, this parching period pertains to Sirius, the "Dog Star," which rises and sets with the sun from mid-July until September. Sirius is also called "The Scorching One." Its lurid presence on the horizon evokes desperate memories of withered crops, raging wildfires and infernal droughts.

Continued at... The Dog Days of Summer

Michael Hofferber
Rural Delivery
Artwork: A Hot Summer Day

The Animals Within

by Michael Hofferber. Copyright © 1993. All rights reserved.

Call me Pooh Bear.

My three-year-old son is Piglet. We walk side by side, the best of friends, in pursuit of adventures. All things are possible.

Some days I am Rabbit, who frets and worries, or the bouncing Tigger, especially after a cup too much of coffee.

Then there are those somber, feeling-sorry-for-myself times when I'm accused of being Eeyore. "Thanks for noticing me."

Continued at... The Animals Within

Michael Hofferber
Rural Delivery
Artwork: A Hug From Pooh

Moving Away

by Michael Hofferber. Copyright © 1993. All rights reserved.

I’m standing here in a bare-walled room contemplating a stack of cardboard boxes and wondering which contains the notes to the water rights article I’m working on. And I’m asking myself again why this is happening. What possessed me to box up my belongings, scramble whatever order there was to my life, and leave behind friends and neighbors for a new residence?

Some people enjoy moving. They like the emigrant experience, the transitory feel of ever-changing scenery and acquaintances. They live their lives like travelers on an interstate highway, pausing only for rest stops and business loops.. Life is short. There’s no time for attachments.

My wife and I do not share this feeling. We grieve over places and people left behind. Moving fills us with worry and frustration. We experience sudden headaches, dizzy spells, disorientation and nausea. Each time we move we say to each other, "Never again! Here we take root!"

Continued at... Moving Away

Michael Hofferber
Rural Delivery
Artwork: Moving House by Morteza Katouzian
Moving Boxes

Where Oliver Found His Place

by Michael Hofferber. Copyright © 2006. All rights reserved.

Oliver Wendell Douglas finds the Haney Place advertised in The Farm Gazette, which he picks up from a news stand while on a business trip to Chicago. Compelled by a deep-rooted urge, he decides to go have a look. To get there, he changes planes twice, takes a bus from the county seat to Pixley, then hops on a train known as "The Cannonball" for the last leg of his journey. When he gets off in the town of Hooterville, he breaks into song:

Green acres is the place to be,
Farm living is the life for me.

Dressed in an expensive three-piece suit, the Manhattan attorney with a Harvard Law School degree purchases the 160-acre farmstead and is determined, at last, to be the farmer of his dreams.

Land spreading out, so far and wide...

Continued at... Where Oliver Found His Place

Michael Hofferber
Rural Delivery
Green Acres - The Complete First Season (1965-66)

In The Morning

by Michael Hofferber. Copyright © 1996. All rights reserved.

It's the early bird that gets the worm, they say. But what worm are you fishing for?

The day commences at four because animals have to be chored, vehicles need readying, children gotta have full bellies before their schooling, and there's a long drive into town for supplies today.

And also because there's this feeling, deep down inside sometimes, that missing out on the start of the day is like losing a chance at seeing the birth of a wild creature, wide-eyed and wet, staggering uncertainly on its legs for the first time.

Continued at... In The Morning

Michael Hofferber
Rural Delivery
The Nature Pages
Artwork: Crescent Moon Rising Over Old Volcano by Kevin Leigh